WITCH, PLEASE: Dating While Witchy - When Hex Appeal Gets Complicated

Navigating Love, Lust, and "Do You Worship Satan?" Since 2025

Let's get real about something that gets every witch's cauldron bubbling: the absolute CHAOS of dating while practicing witchcraft. Whether it’s swiping right on Tinder or meeting potential partners IRL, there’s always the question – do we mention we're witches on the first date, or wait until they inevitably spot our crystal collection that's taking over our entire apartment?

I mean, how many of us have had that eye-roll-worthy moment of explaining that no, that isn't just "quirky decor" – it's a fully functioning altar, and yes, those are actual spell jars next to our Bath & Body Works candles. Dating as a witch isn't just dating – it's a coming out process EVERY. SINGLE. TIME

"So... Do You, Like, Worship Satan?"

The questions. OH MY GODDESS, THE QUESTIONS. Can we just talk about how exhausting it is to be your date's personal "Witchcraft 101" professor? There you are, trying to enjoy your overpriced cocktail, when suddenly you're giving an impromptu TED talk on the difference between Wicca and witchcraft.

And let's not forget the predictable greatest hits:

"Can you read my mind right now?" (No, Brad, but I CAN tell you're thinking with something other than your brain.)

"Have you ever cursed an ex?" (Only the ones who deserved it, babe.)

"Is that why you're wearing all black?" (I’m wearing black because it looks amazing on me AND hides blood stains, but thanks for playing.)

The amount of emotional labor we do just to date is astronomical. We're not here to be their magical Wikipedia page – we're here to see if we have chemistry (the romantic kind, not the potion-making kind... though both are relevant).