29 Life Lessons from a Chaos Witch Who's Figured Out Absolutely Nothing (And That's the Point)
A brutally honest guide to living magically in an unmagical world
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Listen up, magical rebels. I'm about to drop some truth bombs that I've collected during my chaotic journey through this wild, sparkly mess we call life. These aren't your grandmother's wisdom pearls (though shoutout to all the badass witchy grandmas out there). These are the raw, unfiltered lessons I've learned while stumbling through spells, fucking up rituals, and somehow managing to build a magical empire in the process.
1. Your Intuition is Your Superpower (But Society Wants You to Ignore It)
Empathy isn't just being nice—it's literal magic. You're picking up on energies, reading auras, sensing what people need before they even know it themselves. That gut feeling you get? That's not anxiety, babe—that's your witch senses tingling. Trust that shit like your life depends on it, because it fucking does.
2. You're Either the Coven Leader or the Follower
Some witches set the energy for the entire room—they're the ones who walk in and everyone suddenly feels more magical. Others absorb and amplify whatever energy is already there. Neither is better, but knowing which one you are changes everything. If you're an energy setter, own that power responsibly. If you're an energy absorber, choose your circle wisely because their vibes become your vibes.
3. Judgment Blocks Your Magic, Observation Amplifies It
Judgment is when you decide something is "good" or "bad" based on your programming. Observation is when you see what actually IS. Witches who judge their own magic, their progress, their worth? They're casting with one hand tied behind their back. When you observe without judgment, you become a clear channel for the universe to work through you.
4. I've Manifested Every Goal That Actually Mattered to My Soul
Here's the tea: I've hit every single goal I set with my whole heart behind it. The ones I set because I "should" or because they looked good on paper? Total flops. But the goals that came from my authentic witch soul—building this brand, writing my book, creating this community? The universe conspired to make them happen. Your magic is strongest when your intentions are aligned with your truth.
5. The World is Desperate for Authentic Magical Leaders
People are starving for real magic in a world full of fake spiritual bullshit. If you feel called to lead—whether it's a coven, a business, or just being the friend who always knows what tarot spread to pull—don't shrink back. The world needs your particular brand of magic more than you know.
6. Comfort Zones are Where Magic Goes to Die
The universe will keep serving you the same lessons until you're brave enough to level up. You can either choose your own adventure or let life choose for you—and trust me, life's choices are way less fun than yours. Seek out the experiences that make you feel slightly terrified and completely alive.
7. This Too Shall Pass (Both the Good Shit and the Bad Shit)
Every dark night of the soul has ended. Every heartbreak has healed. Every crisis has transformed you. But also? Every high, every win, every perfect moment—those pass too. The magic is in knowing that nothing is permanent except your ability to keep transforming.
8. The More You Release, the More the Universe Delivers
Attachment is anti-magic. The tighter you grip, the more likely things are to slip through your fingers. Release the outcome, trust the process, and watch how quickly your manifestations start flowing. It's like the universe is waiting for you to chill the fuck out before it can deliver your goodies.
9. Happiness is External Validation, Joy is Internal Revolution
Happiness depends on everything going your way. Joy is what happens when you realize you're magic regardless of circumstances. Happiness is temporary. Joy is your birthright as a magical being having a human experience.
10. Learn to Breathe Like Your Life Depends on It
Most people breathe like they're trying not to take up space. Witches breathe like they're calling in cosmic energy—because we are. Deep breathing isn't just self-care, it's literal spellwork. It grounds you, centers you, and connects you to your power.
11. Ask Yourself: "What Would I Do If I Were the Universe?"
Step outside your human limitations for a hot second. If you were the cosmic force running this whole show, what would you want for this beautiful, messy soul (you) that you created? Usually, it's way more abundance, love, and magic than you're currently allowing yourself.
12. Your Gut is Never Wrong (Even When It Sounds Crazy)
That weird feeling about a person? Trust it. That random urge to take a different route home? Follow it. That voice telling you to start a witchcraft blog even though you have no idea what you're doing? DO IT. Your intuition has access to information your logical mind can't even comprehend.
13. Embrace Your Shadow to Find Your Light
Shadow work isn't punishment—it's the pathway to your power. The parts of yourself you've rejected, hidden, or judged? They're not your weaknesses; they're your untapped magic. Dive into the darkness not because you're broken, but because that's where your wholeness lives.
14. Chase the Moments When Time Stops
Whether it's during meditation, ritual, sex, creation, or just laughing with your coven—seek out the experiences where time becomes irrelevant. Those moments are when you're most aligned with your magic, most connected to the divine, most authentically YOU.
15. Money is Energy Looking for a Home
Right now, someone wants to pay you for your magic—your art, your wisdom, your energy. You just have to be open enough to receive it. Stop making money the villain and start treating it like the neutral energy it is. The universe wants to support your work; you just have to let it.
16. Write Your Fucking Grimoire
I don't care if you think you're not a writer. Document your magical journey—your spells, your insights, your failures, your wins. Future you will thank you, and honestly, the world needs your particular perspective on magic. One word at a time, beautiful
17. Move Your Body Like the Temple It Is
Your body carries you through every ritual, every adventure, every magical moment. Find movement that makes you feel powerful—whether it's yoga, dancing, hiking, or just stretching in your room. Your physical vessel deserves as much attention as your spiritual practice.
18. Fuel Your Magic with Intention
Eat like you're nourishing a magical being (because you are). This doesn't mean perfection—it means consciousness. Bless your food, eat with gratitude, choose nourishment that supports your energy. Your body is your magical instrument; treat it accordingly.
19. The More Fun I Have, the More Magic I Make
This one sounds weird but it's my reality: when I prioritize joy, play, and fun, everything else falls into place. My creativity flows, opportunities appear, money follows. Find your version of this—maybe it's beauty, adventure, or service. Whatever lights you up tends to light up your whole life.
20. You Don't Have to Have It All Figured Out by 30, 35, 40,*Insert Arbitrary Age Here*
Society's timelines are made up bullshit designed to make you feel behind. Magic doesn't work on a schedule. Some witches bloom early, others are late bloomers, and some of us are perennial—we keep blooming over and over. You're exactly where you need to be.
21. Know When to Quit vs. When to Surrender
Quit the job that drains your soul. Quit the toxic relationships. Quit the habits that don't serve you. But never give up on your dreams, your magic, or your worth. There's a difference between strategic quitting and fear-based giving up. Learn it.
22. Never Give Up. Always Surrender.
Hold your vision but release your grip on how it has to happen. Fight for your dreams but surrender the timeline. This is the paradox that makes magic possible.
23. Master the Art of Magical Storytelling
Every witch needs to know how to tell a good story. Whether you're sharing your transformation, teaching a lesson, or just entertaining your coven, great storytelling is what turns information into inspiration. Practice making your experiences into stories that matter.
24. Do Something That Terrifies You
Whether it's performing, public speaking, or just being vulnerable online—find something that scares the shit out of you and do it anyway. Fear is data about where your growth lives. Use it as a compass, not a stop sign.
25. Fear is Your Magical GPS
Don't try to eliminate fear; learn to dance with it. Fear points toward your expansion, your next level, your magic. The goal isn't fearlessness—it's courage. Feel the fear and cast the spell anyway.
26. Laughter is Literal Medicine
Surround yourself with people who make you cackle. Watch shows that make you snort. Find the humor in your magical mishaps. Laughter raises your vibration faster than almost anything else. Plus, it makes you way more fun at parties.
27. Find Healthy Ways to Release Your Inner Savage
We're not meant to be perpetually zen. Sometimes you need to rage, to fight, to unleash. Find healthy outlets—kickboxing, screaming into pillows, aggressive cleaning while playing angry music. Honor your full emotional spectrum.
28. Trust That Everything is Divinely Orchestrated
I don't know if everything happens for a reason, but I choose to believe it does because it makes life infinitely more magical. When you trust that every experience—even the shitty ones—is part of your soul's curriculum, you stop being a victim and start being a student.
29. Stop Fighting What Is
At every moment, you can either resist reality or surrender to it. Resistance is what creates suffering. Acceptance is what creates space for magic. This doesn't mean being passive—it means dealing with what IS so you can consciously create what's NEXT.
The Real Magic? Knowing You Don't Know Shit
Here's what I've learned after all these lessons: the more I know, the more I realize I don't know anything. And that's not discouraging—it's fucking liberating. It means there's always more magic to discover, more growth to experience, more versions of yourself to become.
The witches who think they have it all figured out? They've stopped growing. The ones who embrace the beautiful chaos of not knowing? They're the ones changing the world.
So here's to being beautifully unfinished, perfectly imperfect, and magically chaotic. Here's to learning as we go, failing forward, and trusting that our magic is bigger than our understanding of it.
What's the most important lesson you've learned on your magical journey? Drop it in the comments—I read every single one and your wisdom might just be exactly what someone else needs to hear today.
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Hard to pick a favorite, but number 11 is my current contender. Great post – you’re saying what needs to be said 👏 🐺
Hey Love,
I'm one of those bad ass witchy grandmas and you know what . . . all of us (the crones) got here doing exactly what you are doing, learning the life lessons. AND you are spot on. Also? We're still figuring it out too, because if you aren't open to learning until you breath your last breath, you're already dead. Keep doing what you're doing you badass witch you. <3